This is a summarized version of “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie.
PART 1: FUNDAMENTAL TECHNIQUES IN HANDLING PEOPLE
- If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive – don’t criticize, condemn or complain. DON’T CRITICIZE PEOPLE; THEY ARE JUST WHAT YOU WOULD BE UNDER SIMILAR CIRCUMSTANCES – Abraham Lincoln. In addition to your knowledge, you have to possess the ability to talk well, to win people to your way of thinking, and to sell yourself and your ideas. Sharp criticisms and rebukes almost invariably end in futility – Dale Carnegie. I will speak ill of no man, and speak all the good I know of everybody – Benjamin Franklin.
- The big secret of dealing with people – APPRECIATE & ENCOURAGE THEM. To get anybody to do something for you, make him want to do it. How? By giving him what he wants: desire to be important or great. The greatest asset you can possess is the ability to arouse enthusiasm among people by genuine appreciation and encouragement. Your employees need salaries and also kind words of appreciation to feed their self esteem. GIVE HONEST & SINCERE APPRECIATION.
- Talk about what people want or arouse in the person an eager want and show them how to get it. HE WHO CAN DO THIS HAS THE WHOLE WORLD WITH HIM, HE WHO CANNOT WALKS A LONELY WAY.
PART 2: WAYS TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Remember that a person’s name to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of other’s people interests.
- Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely.
PART 3: HOW TO WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING
- Avoid an argument, you can’t win it.
- Never say, “You’re wrong.” Show respect for other person’s opinions.
- If you’re wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
- Begin in a friendly way. “A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall” – Abraham Lincoln.
- The Secret of Socrates: Get the other person saying, Yes, Yes, immediately.
- Let the other person do a great deal of the talking: The safety valve in handling complaints.
- How to get Cooperation: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
- A Formula that will work wonders for you: Try honestly to see things from the other’s person’s point of view.
- What everybody wants: Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
10. An appeal that everybody likes: Appeal to the nobler motives – Motive that sounds good instead of real reason. Give a wise and generally acceptable reason to stop an action or to let the person do your wish. Offer to do what the person might have loved to do with the money, if money is involved.
- Dramatize your ideas.
- When nothing else works, try this: Throw down a challenge. The way to get things done is to stimulate competition. Stimulate the desire to excel.
PART 4: BE A LEADER
- Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
- Call attention to people’s mistake indirectly.
- Talk about your own mistake first before criticizing the other person.
- No one likes to take orders. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
- Let the other person save face: If it’s an employee, tell him all his good sides an prospects before replacing him or firing him.
- How to spur people on to success. Praise the slightest improvement, and praise every improvement.
- Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
- Make the fault seem easy to correct. Use encouragement.
- Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
PART 5: IF YOU WANT TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE ENJOYABLE
- Don’t nag.
- Love and Let Live: Don’t try to make your partner over.
- Don’t criticize.
- Give honest appreciation.
- Pay little attentions: They mean so much to a woman.
- Be courteous.
- Don’t be a Marriage Illiterate. Read a good book on the sexual side of marriage.
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
Summarized, 2019 by Peter Adewumi.
Image Credit: Pexels
Salvation still remains the number one condition to enjoy God’s blessings here on earth and to make it to heaven. It quickens our dead souls to receive of and from the Lord
If you think you need salvation, it’s as simple as ABC.
- Accept Jesus as your Lord and Saviour, and receive Him into your life (John 1:12a).
- Believe unto righteousness with your heart (John 1:12c, Romans 10:10a).
- Confess with your mouth. With the mouth, confession is made unto salvation (Romans10:10b).
“Dear Jesus, I accept you as my Lord and Saviour. I recognize your death because of me on the Cross of Calvary. I accept you into my heart this day, so that you can turn me a new creature. I confess all my sins (mention them, if you can), I renounce and forsake them henceforth. I’ll never go back to me vomit in your mighty name. Amen!”
You’re now born again! If you need counselling about life and how to grow in grace, visit a living church near your house.
Best wishes and regards!